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I just broke up with someone who I dated for 5 months. My last boyfriend was separated and based on that experience, I vowed to not date a man that had children (he had one). I don’t know if I will ‘fall’ for someone who is not right.He said he was in the process of divorcing, that we were monogamous and that he wanted a future with me. I guess it could happen but the key thing is to recognize if a man is not right for you sooner rather than later. Usually, the chemistry and attraction are so strong, they overwhelm you and you may feel like you have no choice. Ask yourself the next question after you have chemistry with someone and use your ears. Meaning if he's married, that means you're incompatible regardless of chemistry. Continuing to have sex with unavailable men won't do it. Evaluate honestly if you're compatible and negotiate rather than being driven by intimidation or seduction. Having spent a long time with unavailable people, I get where you're at. The exquisite pain of unavailable men can be very attractive, especially if you've been taught unconsciously like I have to equate longing and pain with love. If you want to stop choosing emotionally unavailable men, stop placing all your value on chemistry and attraction with your eyes. To find out how much chemistry is enough, watch Chemistry To Commitment.

In a moment, I’ll tell you what’s going on in the minds of these women who seek out—and often stay with—men who will never truly emotionally commit.

The same goes if he lives thousands of miles away and you can't deal with long distance relationships. Whatever the issue is that makes him unavailable, run it through the filter of compatibility and then decide. "Start dating other guys and give someone a chance to steal you away from him. The appeal may still be too strong for you and if you're willing to pay the price, have at it. Great choices and great guys are waiting for you when you stop picking painfully unavailable men.

You may say, "That's great James but it's too late now.

They don’t always know how to express their emotions.

What happens with men as they age is that testosterone decreases and estrogen increases.